Who's the Bully?

I have really been thinking a lot lately of the goals that I have set for myself and what is realistic for me and what is not. I wrote down a few:
1.get a strict muscle up
2. 130 lb Overhead Squat by the end of November
3. 260 lb Dead Lift by December.
That's what we do as Crossfitters. We reach one goal only to then set a new one.
But yesterday it really hit me how much our thoughts need to be stronger as well.
My class had finished the 11.2 Open WOD, 9 Deadlifts, 12 Pushups, 15 Box Jumps. One of the things I had told them that I really wanted them to focus on was making the pushups as perfect as possible. Is this harder? Why yes it is!
After it was over, I looked over and saw one of my athletes (and friend) just sitting there staring at the floor, close to tears. I knew exactly what was happening. She was mentally tearing herself down because she kipped some of her pushups. I walked over to her and told her, "I know what your doing. Stop it! You did great!"
And as I was talking with her, I was suddenly aware that this is exactly what I have been doing to myself for the past two weeks. I think we are all guilty of it from time to time. But when does it become non-productive?
For example, as I was doing the "Helen" WOD last week, during the last 2 rounds I was in my head asking myself "Why are you doing this? This is HARD! You HATE running! No one cares if you PR or not!"
Really? Yes, really.
Now when the WOD is over, I am disappointed. More with the way I felt mentally during the WOD than anything else. I KNEW I would PR, but I lost my confidence halfway through and started beating myself up for it.
Did I PR? Yes.
Could I have done better? Definitely!
For me, when I am in that uncomfortable place where it's not fun, where it hurts and I am ready to be done, my head is my worst enemy. BUT I never quit!
So what that means is that there is a constant battle in my head between giving up and going on.
Will I ever become that Elite Athlete? Honestly, I don't know, but what I do know is that I won't be unless I am able to change the way I think when I am in that moment.
So, what makes someone ELITE?
My opinion, and that is all it is, is actually quite simple but very hard.
The difference between the average me and the Elite athlete is their ability to turn off that other voice. To shut it down!!! To not only push past the pain, but ignore it and conquer it.
There is no way a 135lb women can dead lift 335lbs unless SHE BELIEVES SHE CAN!!!
Are you listening?
Positive self talk can make every difference in your training AND in your life. This is another example of how what we do as CrossFitters spills over into our day and our lives.
What I have discovered is that sometimes the bully we need to be worried about is that bully within ourselves.
So I have made a new goal that takes priority of all the others that I have set.
To strengthen my thoughts. To quiet the bully inside me and release the full potential that I know I am capable of.
I hope that you will, too.

MONDAY'S WOD
Open WOD 11.2
15 minute AMRAP
9 Deadlifts (100lbs)
12 Hand Release Pushups
15 Box Jumps (20" box)

Score: 8rounds + 5

TUESDAY'S WOD
For Time:
30 pullups
30 KBS (35lbs)
30 Double Unders
30 Overhead Squats (65lbs)
5 minute rest then
2 Rounds of
15 pullups
15 KBS
15 Double Unders
15 Overhead Squats
5 minute rest then
3 Rounds of
10 pullups
10 KBS
10 Double Unders
10 Overhead Squats
Score: 32:00

HOLY COW!!! This was a good one! I really worked hard today on that inner voice. Almost met puckie today too!
So happy with the pullups. After being disappointed with my pullups last week I was determined to PR my unbroken pullups today...and I did! I got 18 unbroken today. :)

STRENGTH
After this WOD, all I worked on was one lift
Push Press
5-5-5 (90lbs,100lbs,110lbs) PR on my last set of 5

Eating:
Monday
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs
Post WOD: Progenex
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Salad
Dinner: Zucchini Casserole

Tuesday: left over zucchini casserole
Post WOD: Progenex
Lunch: Yes, more left over zucchini casserole. I love it and made a lot!
Snack: Cinnamon/ Cocoa Almonds and raisins
Dinner: Fried Chicken (Skin removed) cauliflower and mashed potatoes (haven't had these in a long time!)
Dessert: Frozen grapes.