What Works for You?

Step Reebok...these people looked badass.
 I wanted to put floor lighting in my living room!

When it comes to deciding what fitness program works for you, the hardest part is the number of choices available. Of course, whatever your friends are doing will most likely be your first test drive. Especially if they are getting results.

I know that’s how I used to choose a fitness program. What are my friends doing? 

When I was in my early 20’s after having my first child, I was experiencing that dose of reality that, unlike my best friend,  my body was not going to spring back to its pre-pregnancy shape. I had never really had to work out before having kids. I would play around in the weight room and go to a few aerobics classes in college, but then stop by Hardees on my way home and don’t forget those cigarettes! I was a size 6 and could eat whatever I wanted. Ahh, those were the days! The point is, calling me “healthy” was a term that I used loosely although I thought I was.  I mean I was skinny and skinny meant healthy, right? In 1997, yes it did.

Post-child birth. So yeah, I discovered that Hardees no longer did my body good and thankfully I did quit smoking, but now what? What to do? When I tell you that I tried everything, I mean it! My friend invited me to a new aerobics class with her and said it would help me get my pre-baby body back. This wasn't going to be like the aerobics I took in college. This was supposed to be even harder! I am all about a challenge and so I was interested. This was 1997 and Step-Aerobics was the new big trend. She and I went 5 days a week, like clockwork. She looked A-MA-ZING and could wear the little thong leotard with spandex. Not me, I was still in my baggy t-shirts and baggy gym shorts. I was inspired but damn I hated aerobics after about 3 weeks. I didn’t want to admit it because she loved it so much, but during the whole class I would just look longingly at the free weights wishing I was over in that part of the gym. I wanted abs! I wanted muscles! I wanted be a bad ass like Demi Moore in that movie "G. I. Jane", or look like Gin Miller from the Step Reebok videos. The problem was that aerobics felt like dancing to me and for me to dance, a shot of alcohol is required for me to even begin to feel coordinated!

I always felt accomplished after class, but if my friend didn’t show up at my house every morning to take me, I would not have gone much longer. Aerobics seemed to work for her, but it wasn’t working for me.

Then along came Body Pump. Another friend invited me to a class and I immediately loved it! It was fun! We used weights! Yay weights! No dancing! Yay, no dancing! Soon though, my friend that invited me burned out fast and quit going. I didn’t understand because who wouldn’t want to do squats for hours? Yay, squats and jello legs! Body pump worked for me but it didn’t work for her.

After an injury to my neck, I had to stop going to Body Pump. (Who knew that holding a barbell on your neck for an hour could be bad?) I tried speed walking. The “safe” choice my doctor recommended. I didn’t get it. I mean, I walked all the time, why would putting on sweat pants and walking around the neighborhood really fast be any different than walking to the bathroom, or walking in the grocery store? If you needed to get from one place to another, you walked. I saw it as a means of transportation, not exercise. Conclusion, walking as exercise did not work for me.

Running? Oh! I was so jealous of my running friends! I still am. They always look so fit and amazing, running down the street with their earbuds in, sweating, dripping with determination and confidence. They had marathon stickers on their cars and wore expensive special shoes. They even shopped at their own store in town, “The Trak Shak”. I wanted in! You can never say a runner is not an athlete, right? Every time I passed a jogger/runner on the road I would think “look how running makes them look so great!!” I was so excited to try this new venture. This was going to be amazing! So, I bought some running shoes and hit the pavement…and hated every moment. Oh my God! I think I made it half a block before I began to hate my life. I discovered the worst part of running was that half way through it when you are really tired and want to die, the only way back to your car is to keep running, or in my case, the slow, hobbled, limp jog. How did people do this every day…on purpose?! Yeah. Running didn’t work for me.

Then I tried P-90X. It was the big thing in 2004 and with a brand new baby, going to the gym was not a reality for me. This was something I could do at home. The people in videos had muscles. Perfect! I wanted muscles, too!  They used weights. YES! It had a program. PERFECT! No dancing and even better, no running! Yay! It was hard but I enjoyed the new challenge and felt like I was accomplishing something. My friends thought I was crazy because I refused to miss a day. I did P90-X for three years. YES, you read that right, THREE years. Why? Because it worked for me. Three years is a long time though, especially if you are watching the same 9 videos over and over again and I eventually I hit a plateau and became really burned out on it. That’s a lot of hours with Tony Horton.

Then one day, I heard about this thing called CrossFit. I was ready for a change and a new challenge. I was tired of being mediocre at everything. I still didn't have abs although I was beginning to see some shape to my arms. Remarkably, my quest for muscles exceeded to the "let's get toned" phase my friends were in. I didn't understand why they didn't want to be stronger and they didn't understand why I did. Why would I want muscles, they wondered. Don't misunderstand, I didn't want to achieve the body of a body builder, but I did want to see a bicep or a quad make an appearance. It seemed I was alone in my quest for this athletic look and I think that's how I found what worked for me.

 I’ll admit, I also wanted to do something that none of my friends were doing so that I would stop comparing my weaknesses to them and focus on what I needed to do. I would get to do weights and pull-ups and learn new tricks, so I was excited to try this new thing. I fell in love with it instantly! I had to do some running but it was always mixed in with other things, so it was never my focus. I could stop thinking about how much I hated running and instead think, “After I finish running, I get to do ______”. Funny, how CrossFit made me better at running without me even realizing it was happening. It made me better at everything! I needed to tell my friends!

 I invited several friends to come with me. Some liked it and are still doing it with me. However, some of my friends did not. WHAT?!?!  I didn't get it! How is it possible that someone wouldn't love CrossFit? Seriously?

Then a friend made a deal with me. She would come to CrossFit  with me if I went to Zumba with her.  Did I mention I have an issue with dancing? Did she really want me to dance in a room full of other women, while watching myself in the mirror turn into a complete spaz? I almost had an anxiety attack! No, Zumba was not for me…and it was okay.  OK! I get it now. It was also okay that not all my friends liked CrossFit, that some just wanted to run marathons and some wanted to Zumba. 

It IS okay and we shouldn't shame each other because we think we are doing something better than what they are doing. If it doesn't work for them, it isn't better for them, right? One size does not fit all. If you don’t love what you are doing, you won’t stick with it. I've been doing CrossFit for five years because it works for me. I look forward to the workout and seeing my new friends that I have made at the gym. If Zumba makes you happy and gets you moving, then it’s working! If training for a marathon is what makes you happy, then it’s working for you!

There are so many things out there to choose from. I had some hits and I had some misses. I had to find something that fit with what I wanted to achieve on a fitness level and what fit in with my life.
What works for your best friend, may not be what works for you, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to try something new, something different from your friends, you might surprise yourself. The best part is that there are so many things that you can choose from. Zumba, CrossFit, Running, Swimming, Weight Lifting, Kick Boxing, Yoga, the list goes on and on!  The point is – find what works for you and get moving.

The Power of the Coach

I wonder sometimes if people truly understand the influence a coach has on someone. I am not just talking about a gold winning coach, I am talking about anyone that is in the position to teach and train someone to do a sport. Whether it is football, swimming, Olympic lifting, track, CrossFit ...ANYTHING!

In my opinion, a good coach is not someone who has the winning record or the best staff. A good coach is someone who has developed a relationship with his athletes. A good coach knows what makes his athlete nervous and what calms them down. A good coach knows where his athletes weaknesses are and what their strengths are.  A good coach knows what cues will work and which ones won't. A good coach knows who needs to be pushed harder and who needs the softer nudge to finish the task. Most importantly, a good coach cares about more than just winning, he cares about the athlete and not just the athlete but the HUMAN that makes the athlete.

This person has been given an incredible amount of power. No, I don't mean that they rule the roost, although some may think they do. What I'm talking about is the power these coaches have over the athlete they are training. The power to lift these athletes up, full of self-confidence is the same power than can crush them.

Let's talk briefly about the athlete for a minute. There are a handful of people that are genetically GIFTED at sports and will succeed at anything they attempt. In the CrossFit world, that person would obviously be Rich Froning, Jr. In basketball you might say it is Michael Jordan although he may argue that fact. In the football world, the Manning's are the first to come to mind. For the majority of us though, we must be taught and coached. Through that learning process, among a series of failures and successes, we begin to learn what things are difficult for us, what things we really want to learn and be better at and what comes naturally and easily to us.

For me, I am that athlete that wants to do but needs to be coached. TEACH me how to do it and I will do it! Leave me over here by myself to figure it out on my own and I may struggle. The struggle will just piss me off  though and I will eventually figure out how to do the task...especially if I feel I was ignored because you felt I wasn't "Good Enough".

I am a grown up though and I have some pretty tough skin. Kids? Not so much.

When you are coaching a child, and I am using the word child to define anyone that has not graduated high school, you have more power than you are aware of. A LOT OF POWER! That child is clay, sitting in your hands waiting to be molded. If you do nothing with him, if you ignore him, skim over him, create no relationship with him, then you have done nothing with that clay and nothing will be created. An opportunity missed. A possible masterpiece that never was developed. Then you watch as the love for the sport begins to die in their eyes and in their heart. I mean, why try if you are not going to be noticed for your efforts anyways, right?

If you are a coach and coaching has become just a job for you, just a place you go every week to get a paycheck, then this post is for you. Do our kids a favor and find something else to do because bad coaches are dream killers and that's a tragedy. Our kids deserve better.

Bad Days Happen

Have you ever hit that place where you wonder if you will ever get better at something or if you are just destined to be mediocre forever?

Do you have that negative voice inside your head telling you just to hang up the lifting shoes? Maybe it's asking you "why bother getting up on those rings, you're just going to fail anyways?"

Maybe it has nothing to do with CrossFit or lifting. Maybe that voice is telling you that your mom-skills suck or that you have failed as a friend or it's telling you that you are terrible at making the bed. Whatever it is, big or small, that voice in your head can be mean.

That voice can be loud.

That voice can be defeating.

That voice can also be a huge liar.

One bad day in the gym, or an off day with the kids does not make  you suck at life. It makes you human. Everyone has those days. The danger comes when we let those voices take over, murdering our self confidence.

DON'T LET IT.

You are that voice and you have the power to make it shut the hell up. The best way to do that is to just keep on keeping on. If you are frustrated, step back take a deep breath and try again. Never stop giving it your best shot and know that some days your best is better than on other days.

There is no way you can be mediocre if you are trying.

Bad days happen.

Brush yourself off, put on a smile. If you don't feel like smiling, do it anyways! Before you know it, your smile becomes the real thing. Your happiness returns. Your joy floods back in.

Take your joy back. It's yours and you deserve it.

Sometimes We Need To Take the Scenic Route

Even the best laid plans don't always go as expected.

Since beginning my CrossFit journey almost 5 years ago, I knew almost immediately that I wanted to be a coach and one day have my own gym, but not for the reasons you would expect...or maybe so.

When I found CrossFit, I was needing something positive in my life. I was empty and lost and on a terrible spiral down into a dark depression. I had prayed for God to lift me up and what He did was lead me to a place where I would learn to lift myself up...and I did.

How could I not share this? How could I possibly keep this to myself? I had found the best therapy for me.

Yes. Therapy.

When I started CrossFit, I was 15 pounds underweight, living off minimal sleep and just trying to make it from day to day. I can promise you, "getting fit" was NOT on my mind. The only reason I joined my first CrossFit class was because my boys karate instructor had been pretty excited about the "new class" he was offering and he thought I would like it. If you don't know any karate instructors, they are quite persistent.

So, I tried it out, partly because he asked me to, but mostly because I needed to do something other than sit around feeling sorry for myself.

That first class we did a little chipper. It didn't look bad at all, but I ended up in a puddle on the floor. As I was pulling out of the parking lot that night, it occurred to me that in that hour long class, I had not thought ONE TIME of anything else that was going on in my life. My focus had just been on the moment I was in and I was hooked!

As time went on, I really began loving getting stronger. I fell in love with the barbell and I had finally found an outlet for my secret competitive side by competing in local CrossFit competitions. My husband soon began CrossFitting and my boys started CrossFit Kids. To say CrossFit had changed my life would be a complete understatement. It changed my whole family.

Fast forward two and half years and I was blessed with the opportunity to open my own CrossFit gym which I would co-own for the next 2 years. What an amazing experience! (That is a whole separate blog.)

My love continued for coaching. I fell in love with Olympic Lifting. I wanted to be better, to be stronger and faster and my goals continued to evolve. I felt more comfortable in my 40-something year old body than I ever had my entire life! I made life long friendships in the community and I was happy.

I imagined how the gym would grow over the next years, all the awesome things that we could do, but sometimes my plan and His plan are different.

In June 2014, I finally had to admit to myself that it was time for me to change course and I sold my part of the gym to my business partner. Once again, I felt like a failure and very defeated for those first few weeks, but God always has a plan and I had to remember that. I can absolutely testify that sometimes the right decisions are often the most difficult to make.

Almost immediately, my husband and I began working on our garage and made it into a garage gym. It was around our 3rd workout together that I realized how rare it was that we ever workout together. In all the years I have been coaching, I can literally count the number of times we have worked out together.

It was fun! FUN! and I was given another reason to love CrossFit. My boys joined us for the next one and I was given yet ANOTHER reason to love it.

Did I imagine 5 years ago that I would be coaching people out of my garage? No, but I did imagine that I would still be in love with CrossFit and I am. It continues to be the best therapy ever. It's my "Happy Dose" each day!

CrossFit has been given a bad rap over the years, but I can tell you that it saved me and it saves me everyday. I LOVE getting stronger. I love sweating and knowing I gave a workout everything I have but mostly I LOVE coaching. I love the look on someone's face when they do their first double under, or kick up to their first handstand or get their first pull-up..when I see the joy on their face, there's nothing like it. THAT's what it is all about to me and I don't see that getting old for me anytime soon.

I'm still on my journey and what I have learned is that God's detours are blessings and I believe sometimes He wants us to take the scenic route instead. I am thankful for the detours because it causes me to slow down and enjoy the scenery.

Everyone has a different reason for beginning CrossFit and my story is just one in a million. Whatever your reason is, the goal is to be happy with who you are and what you are doing.

So go be happy! Life is just too short to be anything else.

Embrace YOU!

I think we could all learn some valuable life lessons from children.

This morning I was telling the story of when my son was 5 years old and wanted to be "brown".
When he was in kindergarten he had a little girl friend named Desire (pronounced Dez-er-ray). She was a precious little black girl and he talked about her all the time.
One day he came home and informed me that when he grew up he was going to have brown skin.
When I asked him why, he explained that he was going marry Desire so he needed to have brown skin like she did.
As sweet as I thought this was, I explained to him that he didn't need to change who he was to marry anybody and that it was important to just be himself.
He thought about this very hard for a moment and then proclaimed that he was going to have brown skin and have orange hair.
"Why?", I asked.
He answered very simply, "Because I like the color orange."

Fast forward 9 years. His skin is not brown and his hair is not orange, but he is a 14-year old that has embraced being an individual. He is that kid in band that has the long hair when no one else does. When all the kids were wearing skinny jeans, it seemed he was the one kid who refused. He didn't care what everyone else was wearing. (smart kid) When all his friends were playing baseball, he chose soccer.
He doesn't follow "the crowd" and aside from that day when he was 5, he has never wished he was anyone other than who he is. The kid is pretty self confident.

I have found that as adults we still struggle with this very thing. Self-Confidence.
I have met so many people in my adult life who are not happy with who they are, wishing they could have what someone else has,  or do what someone else does.
I know I have been guilty of this in the past, thinking "if I could do "x" like this person, I would be sooo much happier!"
This is not healthy. Mentally it can be debilitating.

As CrossFitters, most of us at one point or another have looked over at that person next to us who has just crushed their WOD, secretly wishing they would drop a plate on their foot. We yell and congratulate them on their PR, giving them high fives while secretly thinking, "Damn It! How did they just beat me?"

It's okay to admit it. I mean, maybe you had a bad day and are just in a terrible mood. This doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. When it becomes a regular thing though, when you are constantly comparing yourself to someone else, that is the time to step back and take a breath and reevaluate.

If your thoughts are constantly on what other people are doing, you are no longer working on yourself. It makes it a bit more difficult to become better if you are focused and preoccupied with what everyone else is doing. What this WILL DO is cause you to get frustrated, disappointed and frankly will just suck the fun right out of your day!

As some of you know, one of my favorite CrossFit athletes is Cheryl Brost, initially because she is my age and watching her compete in the CrossFit Games gave me the confidence that I was not too old for CrossFit. Cheryl is a phenomenal athlete and I think it would be incredible to be as strong and fast as she is one day.
Coach Mike Burgener is another amazing person that inspires me and I can only hope to be as great of a coach as he is one day.
Will I ever be just like Cheryl Brost or Mike Burgener?
Nope! It's impossible for the simple reason that I am not Cheryl Brost or Mike Burgener. I am me. Do I want to get better? YES, and they inspire me to push myself harder, set new goals, continue to learn and better myself.

God made us all very different for a reason. We all have different goals, skills, talent, gifts, dreams...and faults. If we were all made the same, this world would be a very boring, uncolorful place.

So, the next time you get your butt kicked in a WOD by that person, EMBRACE it!
Be INSPIRED by it!
What you may not realize is that YOU were the one that inspired them first.

Be Beautiful Today

Why are we, as females, so hard on ourselves?
 I know you have heard that phrase, “We are our own worst critic” but seriously, we can be absolutely hateful!
We will say things about ourselves that we would NEVER say to anyone else.
Why?
Where does that come from?
Just recently during one of the classes I was coaching, I was watching one of my athletes do dead lifts in a WOD. It became obvious immediately that the load she was using was way too light. After class, I worked with her to help her get a true 1 rep max on her dead lift. At first, I could tell that she was hoping I would just let it go so she could just slip out the door.
What she told me was something I had heard many times before but on this occasion it was also enlightening and something that I have been thinking about for days.
She said she did not want to lift heavy because she did not want to get bulky.
Looking at this sweet, gorgeous, quiet woman, my first response was automatic and reflexive.
“You will not get bulky doing CrossFit.”
“Women are only bulky if they TRY to be.”
“They have to do “X” kind of things to get bulky!”
I gave her the answers I am always prepared to say when I hear this.
But then I LISTENED to what she was saying. I mean, really listened. Why in the world did she feel this way? This woman is not someone I would ever say could be bulky and yet, she absolutely believed she could. Why?
Then she said, “I've always been told I could easily get bulky.”
“I’ve always been told…”
Words are powerful and I knew then that this wasn't just a conversation to brush off and give the one, two, three answers.
Insecurities are real and sometimes they are very hard to overcome.
I am terribly guilty of my own constant self criticism. I have gotten better and better at keeping them to myself, but they are there and they are real.
Just the other day I was called out by a good friend of mine. He even scolded me for not being able to take a compliment. 
I suck at it. It’s true.
This seems to be an issue with almost every woman I know to some degree. Even the top athletes in CrossFit suffer insecurities. I read a blog the other day about a CrossFit Games athlete with her own anxiety about how her legs looked in short-shorts. It was a great post, and I assure you, her legs are gorgeous, but in her mind they are something to be hidden.  Why?
WORDS.
I promise you, sometimes I would prefer the sticks and stones.
My own insecurities go all the way back to elementary school. I moved around a lot as kid and by the time I was in 5^th grade, I had already attended seven different schools. Making friends was hard. I was terribly shy and being the new kid was something I was made fun of for.
In the 4^th grade, I was made fun of the way I dressed.
In the 5^th and 6^th grade I was teased that I was too white, too tan or just because I wasn't black. I couldn't win that one.
In middle and high school I was teased by everyone for everything, even my best of friends.
I was too dumb.
I was too blond.
I was too skinny.
My boobs were too small.
I was too tall.
My hair was too curly, ect.
Was I a depressed, sad and lonely kid?
No, not at all! I have some great memories from high school and lasting friendships. I wasn't miserable at all and I don’t want you to think that this is about bullying. I took most of it in stride and just accepted that I was “that girl. I just began to embrace it.

In my adult life, it still continues. This was who I am and this is how life goes. As a result, I have grown some pretty thick skin, but those insecurities are there. They are real, no matter how I try to ignore them.

What I am saying is that years of being told that you are not “this”, or that you should change “that”, or that you are not good enough for “this”, WILL have a lasting effect on someone.
CrossFit has done more for my self confidence and my self-esteem than I can put into words, but even now I have a hard time with compliments.
There are still things I struggle with. I have blogged before that someone close to me has always talked about how I need to get rid of my lower belly.
 If there is something I have issues with, it’s my tummy.
Don’t get me wrong, if I am working out in our box in 100 degrees, I am the first one to dump my shirt, but it’s because I can’t stand things sticking to me, not for an ab show, that’s for sure!
 Most of the time, right after the WOD, I will drape a towel over me in a way that no one can see my tummy well until I cool down enough to put my shirt back on.
 I recently went through over 3000 pictures from a competition my box hosted and found myself not posting ones of me because all I could see was my belly. All I could see were the flaws and think “I’m a CrossFitter! I shouldn’t have a belly!”

I promise you, I DO NOT do this with anyone else! I will post photos of ladies from my gym and they will ask me, “Why did you post that? I look “insert reject word here””
I always, honestly respond, “All I see is a strong and beautiful woman!”
It’s true. At my gym, I do not see old people or overweight people or skinny people. I only see amazing, beautiful people that I love to spend my day with!

So the moral of this blog is this.
I need to learn to cut myself a break.
I need to be nicer to myself.
We all need to do this because at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside, it’s the beautiful person on the inside that people love.

Be beautiful today.

November 13, 2011

Sorry everyone for the delayed post! It's been a crazy, busy week! But here is your inspiration for this beautiful Sunday Morning!
I usually don't blog on the weekends but I know I need to catch up. This will be a short one for those of you who are keeping up with the WOD's.
I love getting your emails telling me your progress as well. You inspire me and drive me to be a better me. Thank you!

WOD's
Wednesday
For Time:
5 Ball Slams (30lbs)
25 GHD situps
10 Ball Slams
20 GHD situps
15 Ball Slams
15 GHD situps
20 Ball Slams
10 GHD situps
25 Ball Slams
5 GHD situps
Time-8:08
I haven't done a lot of GHD work in the past few months and it really showed. I did all the GHD's unbroken but I had a headache the rest of the day. Of course my abs were sore for 4 days. Gotta love it!

Thursday
4 Rounds
Each round is 4 minutes long
Run 400 meters
9 Push Presses (58lbs)
8 Bar Facing Burpees
Rest in the remaining time of your 4 minutes (the faster you get done with the work, the longer you get to rest)
At minute 17 do max number of Box Jumps. Score is # of box jumps
Score:28 Grrr! Danny beat me by 1! Next time...
Strength:
Worked on 1 Rep Max Deadlift. I pulled 225lbs, which was my last 1 Rep Max, then jumped up 10lbs. I was worried it was too much and it was. I think my head got in my way again. I got it off the ground, but it didn't come higher than my shins.

Friday
Strength Day!
Bench Press- 60%x5 (65lbs), 70%x5(75lbs), 85%x5x3(95lbs)
Hang Power Snatch-60%x5, 65%x4, 75%/4, 85%x4x2
I haven't done a lot of Hang Power Snatches so I didn't have a 1 Rep max to go from. This is what I lifted 48lbsx5, 53lbsx4, 63lbsx4,68lbsx4x2
Hang Power Clean-75%x4 (73lbs),85% (83lbs)x4 95%x4 (93lbs)
Overhead Squat- work to heavy single. I only got 115lbs today. It was just one of those days.
It's not the squatting I struggle with, it's the jerk from the back to get the weight overhead. I put 125lbs on the bar (my current 1 rep max) but knew in my head I wasn't going to jerk it so I reracked it and walked it off. I came back to the bar after a few minutes and tried again and ended up dumping it. Very disappointed but I know somedays are not the days for a PR. What it reminded me is that I really need to work more on jerks from the back of the neck and get my confidence up there. So, I spent about 15 minutes working on just that.
I am going to skip posting my Eating on this Blog, but it will be posted on the next blog.
Today my WOD is a good one!
Paint kitchen for time. 3,2,1...Go!!!

Who's the Bully?

I have really been thinking a lot lately of the goals that I have set for myself and what is realistic for me and what is not. I wrote down a few:
1.get a strict muscle up
2. 130 lb Overhead Squat by the end of November
3. 260 lb Dead Lift by December.
That's what we do as Crossfitters. We reach one goal only to then set a new one.
But yesterday it really hit me how much our thoughts need to be stronger as well.
My class had finished the 11.2 Open WOD, 9 Deadlifts, 12 Pushups, 15 Box Jumps. One of the things I had told them that I really wanted them to focus on was making the pushups as perfect as possible. Is this harder? Why yes it is!
After it was over, I looked over and saw one of my athletes (and friend) just sitting there staring at the floor, close to tears. I knew exactly what was happening. She was mentally tearing herself down because she kipped some of her pushups. I walked over to her and told her, "I know what your doing. Stop it! You did great!"
And as I was talking with her, I was suddenly aware that this is exactly what I have been doing to myself for the past two weeks. I think we are all guilty of it from time to time. But when does it become non-productive?
For example, as I was doing the "Helen" WOD last week, during the last 2 rounds I was in my head asking myself "Why are you doing this? This is HARD! You HATE running! No one cares if you PR or not!"
Really? Yes, really.
Now when the WOD is over, I am disappointed. More with the way I felt mentally during the WOD than anything else. I KNEW I would PR, but I lost my confidence halfway through and started beating myself up for it.
Did I PR? Yes.
Could I have done better? Definitely!
For me, when I am in that uncomfortable place where it's not fun, where it hurts and I am ready to be done, my head is my worst enemy. BUT I never quit!
So what that means is that there is a constant battle in my head between giving up and going on.
Will I ever become that Elite Athlete? Honestly, I don't know, but what I do know is that I won't be unless I am able to change the way I think when I am in that moment.
So, what makes someone ELITE?
My opinion, and that is all it is, is actually quite simple but very hard.
The difference between the average me and the Elite athlete is their ability to turn off that other voice. To shut it down!!! To not only push past the pain, but ignore it and conquer it.
There is no way a 135lb women can dead lift 335lbs unless SHE BELIEVES SHE CAN!!!
Are you listening?
Positive self talk can make every difference in your training AND in your life. This is another example of how what we do as CrossFitters spills over into our day and our lives.
What I have discovered is that sometimes the bully we need to be worried about is that bully within ourselves.
So I have made a new goal that takes priority of all the others that I have set.
To strengthen my thoughts. To quiet the bully inside me and release the full potential that I know I am capable of.
I hope that you will, too.

MONDAY'S WOD
Open WOD 11.2
15 minute AMRAP
9 Deadlifts (100lbs)
12 Hand Release Pushups
15 Box Jumps (20" box)

Score: 8rounds + 5

TUESDAY'S WOD
For Time:
30 pullups
30 KBS (35lbs)
30 Double Unders
30 Overhead Squats (65lbs)
5 minute rest then
2 Rounds of
15 pullups
15 KBS
15 Double Unders
15 Overhead Squats
5 minute rest then
3 Rounds of
10 pullups
10 KBS
10 Double Unders
10 Overhead Squats
Score: 32:00

HOLY COW!!! This was a good one! I really worked hard today on that inner voice. Almost met puckie today too!
So happy with the pullups. After being disappointed with my pullups last week I was determined to PR my unbroken pullups today...and I did! I got 18 unbroken today. :)

STRENGTH
After this WOD, all I worked on was one lift
Push Press
5-5-5 (90lbs,100lbs,110lbs) PR on my last set of 5

Eating:
Monday
Breakfast: 2 hard boiled eggs
Post WOD: Progenex
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Salad
Dinner: Zucchini Casserole

Tuesday: left over zucchini casserole
Post WOD: Progenex
Lunch: Yes, more left over zucchini casserole. I love it and made a lot!
Snack: Cinnamon/ Cocoa Almonds and raisins
Dinner: Fried Chicken (Skin removed) cauliflower and mashed potatoes (haven't had these in a long time!)
Dessert: Frozen grapes.

Closer than I was Yesterday

Well, my forearms and triceps have let me know that this past month of heavy muscle up work has really ticked them off!
Yesterday was my rest day, but usually on my rest day I will do something. Play on the rings, work on handstands, double unders just something! Not yesterday. It was very hard not to jump up on those rings but I really wanted to give my arms a full 24hours off, feeling confident that this was all I needed in order to jump up on those rings today and get that muscle up...yeah, you guessed it. Didn't happen.
I did work on it, but within minutes my forearms and triceps were screaming at me. I had been thinking it was my elbows, but today I realized that it is actually the muscles surrounding my elbows that is so sore.
To be this close, and to be too sore to work on this movement, well, I can't even describe my frustration! I just knew it was going to happen this week! :(
Tuesday after class, a few of us were hanging around talking and visiting and I was messing around on the rings. Coach Mark was watching me try to kip up there and he stopped me. He turned to everyone and asked them to come over to where we were so they could watch us for a minute. Then he asked me to get my false grip and just pull straight up, no kip. Ok, so I did. Then he did the same thing, but after he paused (where I paused) he went on into a dead hang muscle up.
He then asked everyone that was watching, "who got higher on the rings, Dawn or me?
They all said, surprisingly, "Dawn".
They said WHAT?!?!
Yeah, from a dead hang, I am pulling myself up higher than ever. Plenty high enough for a muscle up. The problem is that I get up there and can't figure out how to get my head through the rings.
After I finally realized that I really was getting high enough, I was ready to do it again. I felt my confidence completely shift. I knew I could do this!
I went to pull myself up again and my arms said "forget it!"
This was Tuesday. Yesterday I just coached, no WOD, no strength. REST.
Today, still no muscle up. I did work on the dead hang some more and Coach Mark gave me a buddy assist to go over into the transition by putting his hands on my hips and tilting me a bit forward. I thought he really pushed me through, but he said he barely did anything, that I did it mostly by myself. I AM SO CLOSE I COULD JUST SCREAM!!!!
But I had to stop because my arms started aching so badly.
I will roll them out tonight with a foam roller and hopefully, prayerfully it will happen tomorrow. I know you are sick of me blogging about this damn movement. Believe me, I am sick of it too, but I can't give up. I am obsessed with it!

TODAY'S WOD
3 ROUNDS of
3 minute AMRAP
3 Handstand Push ups
6 Slam Ball (all we have is a 12lb ball)
9 jumping squats
at the end of the 3 minutes, rest 1 minute then go to round 2 picking up where you left off.
Score 12 rounds + 7 reps

Eating:
Wednesday, Day 23 of WHOLE30
Breakfast: 2 Hard boiled Eggs
Snack: Cashews and jerky
Lunch: Grilled Chicken Salad
Snack: banana with almond butter
Dinner: Meatloaf, butternut squash

Thursday, Day 24 of WHOLE30
Breakfast: 2 Hard boiled eggs with almonds
POST WOD: Progenex
Snack: Salmon and sweet potatoes
Lunch: Spaghetti Squash, mixed fruit
Snack: LaraBar
Dinner: Meatloaf, baked sweet potato with Cinnamon, green beans
Snack: Banana with almond butter and blueberries (ate too much fruit today.)

What's In Your Head?

I have been stewing on this blog for the past two days and I hope that I will be able to articulate what is in my head.

If you crossfit, I'm sure you've heard the quote by CrossFit Founder Coach Glassman, "The greatest adaption of CrossFit takes place between the ears."

I completely agree. In my humble opinion, CrossFit is about 30% physical ability and 70% mental. I am sure if you ask other CrossFit coaches, they may give you a different percentage, but mental ability will be high.

For example, it doesn't matter how damn strong you are, if you can not let yourself drop under the bar, you will NEVER squat snatch or squat clean any significant weight. If you cannot trust yourself to put your feet over your head, no matter how strong you are, you will never do a handstand pushup. And if you cannot disengage from the pain, you will never have a sub 3 minute "Fran".

These are obvious examples, but here's what got me thinking about all of this in the first place.

This weekend, I was talking with a friend of mine, who had just done Fight Gone Bad. She knew that I had done this WOD the day before and what my score was. She said, "Girl, you beat me by 3 points!" She was excited because she had done this as RXd. She just had surgery a few months ago and I was really excited for her because she has worked very hard to get back to where she was before.

But I told her that I was mad at myself because I KNEW I could have done better. How much better, I don't know, but when round three came and I knew I had already PR'd my old score, I slowed down and just coasted the rest of the workout. Why did I do this? Maybe it would have helped to have some crazy firebreathers next to me knocking out a 405. I know it wasn't because I couldn't physically do more.

You know what it was? It was my head! I had started talking myself out of "killing it" because I had already reached my mark.

What is that Michelangelo quote? "The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim to high and falling short, but setting our aim to low and achieving our mark."...BINGO!

She also told me that she thought that I was one of the hardest training coaches that she knew. Am I? I certainly didn't feel like it at that moment.

Not long after this conversation, I watched a video of a friend lifting a 300lb deadlift on Facebook. This friend is my size and weight, and Holy Moly, that girl picked 300lbs! Wow, I am nowhere close to that! Why? Because I am scared of another herniated disk. There. I said it. The answer is "FEAR".

So then, I just started beating myself up. Do you do this?
If you were in my head Saturday, it would have sounded something like this, "I could have worked harder during FGB.", "I can't deadlift twice my bodyweight.", "I struggle daily with a 'sugar demon'", "I don't have six pack abs," and of course, "I can't do a freakin' muscle-up!" I just continued to tear myself down in my head.

This of course put me in a lovely mood for my family and the poor guys had no idea what was wrong with me.

Today I talked about some of this with my coach. We also discussed my inability to do a muscle-up. He said, "There is no physical reason why you can't do a muscle-up."

Did you read that, folks? No. Physical. Reason.

I said, "Well, it's not because I don't want to. I do! I feel like it is my job as a coach to be able to do this. This is the only movement I can not demonstrate."

He asked, "So, what do you think it is?"

I thought about it for a few minutes and finally I said, "I'm scared. I'm scared of hurting my shoulder, I think." I went on to explain that whenever I step up to the rings, my heart starts racing, I get butterflies in my stomach and I get nervous as hell. This didn't happen when I was learning how to do pullups, or double unders, or handstand pushups, but it is there when I step up to those rings....It's in my head! "The enemy is my inner me!"

So, I finally had to reset myself. Just sit down and ask myself, "What is going on in your head?!" I can tell you, that if I were to have done a WOD with my friends Saturday, I would have sucked...seriously. Why? Because I had spent the entire day beating the crap out of myself.

As I took some time to really refocus my thoughts, I asked myself, "What makes a good coach?" and I found this great quote. "A good coach will make his players see what they can be rather than what they are."

I feel that I do this. I am not saying this to toot my own horn, but I always look at where my athletes are going, not where they are. I see their potential and I do my best to help them see it, too. I LOVE coaching. I LOVE watching my athletes surprise themselves everyday doing things I already knew they could do.
I was told by one of my athletes, "I love the way you break down these movements so that I can see them in slow motion and in small parts. It helps to make it all click in my head."

I think I will take that any day over PR'ing a lift or a muscle-up.

Sometimes it just takes 1 positive comment to turn your thoughts around and let your head help you rather than work against you.

So. What's in your head?

Saturday

Rest day

Sunday WOD

5 rounds

35 Double unders

200 meter run

time-9:22

Monday
Strength

work to get 1 rep max on Front Squat

Pr'd at 150lbs! YAY!!!

WOD

75 KBS (35lbs)

75 Pushpress (33lbs bar)

When you set the weight down, run 200 meters

time 8:14

Did 75 KBS unbroken and 57 Pushpress unbroken

Eating:

Saturday, Day 12 of Whole30

Breakfast: 2 fried eggs, 2 pieces of bacon, apple with almond butter

Snack: Larabar

Lunch: Grilled chicken with lettuce and tomatoes, 1/2 cup of grapes & apples

Snack: almonds and raisins

Dinner: Stuffed Red Peppers (made with ground beef, chopped spinach and sauce)

Dessert: Frozen grapes

Sunday, Day 13 of Whole30

This was not my happy day. Really missing my comfort sweets but I made it through!

Breakfast: scrambled eggs, 2 pieces of Canadian bacon, apple with almond butter

Snack: Larabar

Lunch: Left over Stuffed pepper (so good!)

Snack: nuts, seeds and raisins and some turkey meat

Dinner: Steak and baked sweet potato

Monday, Day 14 of Whole30

Breakfast: 2 hardboiled eggs, 1 piece Canadian bacon

Post WOD: Progenex

Snack: Larabar (don't really know what I would do without these!)

Lunch: hamburger patty with salsa, broccoli

Snack: Ground beef with spinach (left over mixture from the stuffed peppers)

Dinner: Cubed Steak (seasoned only), cauliflower, broccoli